The Forbidden Affair
by oblivious-massacre
Summary: Things aren't quite right with Jenny. She doesn't know why she feels so empty all the time...until mysterious things start happening and Julian starts running through her mind - and maybe her heart - yet again.
1. Chapter 1

**Everyone had gone for the summer. Junior year – the most frightening year of the groups' life – had just ended. Jenny Thornton was the only one who wasn't going somewhere for summer. Although she wished they weren't going for the **_**entire **_**summer, she was happy to get a little alone time.**

** Michael Cohen was going to a writing camp. He wasn't going voluntarily, though. His father was a science-fiction writer. Although Michael loved science-fiction, he couldn't stand writing. Jenny thought it had something to do with his dad working all the time. Michael was, to say the least, cowardly. He had his brave moments, but they were extremely rare.**

** Michael's girlfriend, Audrey Myers, was going to China for the summer. Her father was going away for business during the summer and her mother had been staying in China to study a bird Jenny had forgotten the name of. That left Audrey with no one to watch her. Even though she was almost seventeen, her parents believed that she was not old enough to be alone for the entire summer. That was something Jenny agreed with, but only with Audrey. She always seemed to have trouble find her. Audrey never went anywhere without looking her best. She was a fashionista, and could turn something extremely ugly into a masterpiece with a snap of her fingers. Part of it is her insecurity to how other people look at her.**

** Deirdre Eliade – also known as Dee – was going to a physical fitness camp for the summer. She was always looking for ways to improve her physical shape, although she was in excellent shape. Jenny was excited when she found out she would get to spend two weeks with Dee at the end of the summer. The camp ended two weeks before they went back to school and Dee would be the first one home for the summer. Then Jenny found out that Dee planned on going to different colleges and see what they were like. Ever since their…ordeal, she'd been working on her book-smarts. Dee looked like an Egyptian princess. Jenny wondered why she still didn't have a boyfriend.**

** The worst thing about this summer, though, was her cousin going away. They'd always been together ever since she could remember. It was hard to believe she'd be spending three whole months away from him. They would usually climb trees, go hiking, paint, or do whatever else they could find to amuse themselves. Zach never judged her and she loved that. Since they were family they stuck together, always. But…ever since – well, you know – she hasn't been able to look at him the same. He was going away to church camp. He said it wasn't the best place to go in the world for three months – he wasn't very religious – but it was better than staying there the entire summer. He'd needed a break.**

** The only person that would be anywhere near Jenny was Summer Parker-Pearson. Summer's relationship with the rest of the group had turned just a little sour. She would still hang out with them, but it wasn't the same. Once, Summer had been a nice, shy girl who everyone looked after. Once back in their world, Summer had become a little bolder. She joined the swim team, and was never home anymore. Summer didn't seem like she wanted them around anymore, so they left her alone. Jenny figured they brought back bad memories for Summer.**

** That left her with one other person: Tom Locke, otherwise known as Jenny's boyfriend. Actually, it was more like ex-boyfriend. Tom was wonderful. He'd been with Jenny since they were in the second grade. They were pretty much made for each other. Tom was a star athlete and student, handsome and popular, and had a cool attitude. However, Jenny and Tom hadn't been the same since their ordeal. He would tend to avoid Jenny. It was as if he had turned into a different person. Yeah, they would talk, hold hands, kiss…but it was as if someone had turned out the light in their relationship. They were always so happy around each other. When they would walk into a room, the whole place would brighten up. Now, it seemed to be the opposite.**

** So, Tom didn't see the point in staying in town alone with Jenny. In fact, once he found out Zach was leaving, he went straight to his house to talk to his mom about going to visit his Aunt Jenna in Maine.**

** It was the last day of school, and they were all walking to the parking lot, everyone except Summer, who was at swim practice. There was an electric feel in the air. Michael and Audrey were holding hands, and Audrey had her head on his shoulder. It seemed like they were trying to spend as much time together as possible before they went their separate ways.**

** Dee was on her cell phone, looking up activities to do at the camp she was going to. It was like she was in her own little universe and she didn't know anyone else existed anymore. Zach was chewing some bubble gum with a little too much enthusiasm and was making the largest bubbles Jenny had ever seen. He'd even got gum in his eyebrows and bangs.**

** Tom had a piece of Jenny's golden hair in his hand. He twirled it around and around. He never said a word the entire walk, but he also never left her side. It never used to be like that. He'd talk to her every second they were together. The more Jenny thought about it, the more distressed she became. Tom and Jenny had been wrapped around each other before this big mess, but Tom never really acted like he loved her. He acted more like he liked her just a little more than a friend. Now, Tom looked at her with so much love in his eyes it killed her, but he didn't say a word.**

** "Guys?" Jenny said, stopping in her tracks. They all stopped and looked at her. "We're all going to be apart for three months, and we haven't said a word to each other. I mean, this is the part where we all say our goodbyes and wish everyone good luck. Are we just going to walk away right now without saying anything?"**

** They all looked at one another without saying anything. Finally, Zack said, "I'm going to miss you guys this summer. It'll be weird not seeing you all for this long. But at the same time, I think we need this. We all need a little time to think things over."**

** Tom was nodding his head and he opened his mouth to say something but Audrey interrupted him. "Yeah. I'm kind of excited to go back to China. Go to a different place for a while. Forget about…things. I promise I will be e-mailing you guys constantly." She laughed.**

** "I haven't really given much thought about us being apart. I'm really focusing on my training and college. I may not get to contact you guys much, but that doesn't mean I don't miss you." Dee said. She gave us all an apologetic smile.**

** Michael had walked over to the Volkswagen his father bought him two weeks earlier. "I hate to cut our heart-to-heart moment short, but I really have to get going. I still haven't finished packing and if I get Audrey back even a minute after three-thirty, her dad will kill me."**

** No one said anything back. They all looked at each other for a minute. Michael walked back over, and they all hugged for a moment. When the hug was over, everyone went to their separate cars; everyone, except for Jenny and Tom.**

** "I'm going to have my cell phone on the entire time." Tom said to her. "So, feel free to call me whenever."**

** Jenny took his hand. "I'm going to miss you, Tom. You don't know how much." She felt the little pricks in her eyes that meant she was going to cry.**

** Tom's face softened. "Aw, Thorny, don't cry. I'm going to miss you, too. But I have a laptop I'm bringing with me and we can chat on the webcam every night if you want to."**

** "Yeah, but it won't be the same. I won't be able to touch you. Or…this." She got up on her tip toes and kissed him. When she started to pull away Tom grabbed the back of her head and kept her there for another beat.**

** "I love you, Jenny. I'll call you tonight, okay?" Tom said. Jenny nodded. "See you later."**

** "Goodbye." Jenny replied. She didn't know why she said goodbye. Goodbyes felt so…permanent to Jenny. She always said she'd see Tom later, but goodbye felt right this time. She didn't want to believe it was goodbye, but this feeling overwhelmed her.**

** Tom turned to his Jeep and opened the door.**

** "Oh, and Tom?" Jenny asked. He turned to her. "I love you, too." A single tear rolled down her cheek. She didn't think he saw it.**

** Jenny's mother had let her drive the van to school that day. Jenny usually rode with Tom, but since he was leaving right away she had to have another way home. The drive to her house wasn't long, but it was enough to calm her down. She would see Tom again. Why wouldn't she? But she didn't want to answer that question.**

** She pulled into her mom's spot in the driveway and got out. There were no other cars in the driveway so she knew her dad wasn't home yet. Her mother may have been in the house, but Jenny doubted it. Her mom was always going off to art shows with her friend, Amy.**

** Jenny decided she needed to relax for a while. She went in the house and up the stairs to her room. Her IPod was on her dresser. She grabbed it, hit play after inserting the headphones, and went back downstairs. She curled up on the couch and started reading a book.**

** That night, Jenny didn't get to talk to Tom. He was still on his flight to Maine, and wouldn't be able to talk to her until the next day. Jenny knew that even if he had arrived that night, he wouldn't be able to talk to her because he would want to spend time with his family.**

** After hours of watching TV, her little brother came home with a friend and her parents arrived shortly after. Jenny felt drained. She was already bored and the summer hadn't even started yet. She decided that it was time to catch up on a little sleep.**

** She always went to bed really late in the night, somewhere around three. She was afraid that if she got a full night's sleep, she would dream about…**_**him**_**. But tonight…she just didn't care. Jenny had never been one to mope around, but she decided she deserved to mope just a little bit.**

** Jenny laid down on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She began to count.**

** It was dark. Funny, she hadn't remembered turning her lights off. She couldn't feel her body anymore. Jenny decided she was dreaming. But where was she in this dream? She opened her eyes wider and still couldn't see anything.**

** She tried to lift her hand up, but it wouldn't budge. In fact, she wasn't moving at all. Not even to breathe. Was she breathing? She had to have been, right? Otherwise –**

** What was that? She thought she heard something, but she wasn't sure. It sounded all distorted, like she was under water.**

** Wait. What if she was… But no, that couldn't be. She couldn't be back in that place. There was no way. But she didn't know that. Who could? Jenny decided that she would just try to stay calm and then when she woke up everything would be okay.**

** Suddenly, she was moving. It felt like flying, but heavier. Her arms and legs wouldn't do what she wanted, and what she wanted was for them to try and get away from whatever was pulling her. She thought she could see a little light now. Something very bright. Almost white. The color of Ju-**

** No. It couldn't be. The blood in her veins turned to ice, and then to fire. She was excited, but scared at the same time. A million thoughts raced through her head. Did this mean that someone had written his name back in the stave? Why would they do that? Would he be mad at her?**

** Suddenly, she wasn't moving anymore and she heard everything clearly. She tried to open her eyes, but they wouldn't budge.**

** "Jenny! Jenny wake up! Please. I need you! You have no idea…" She knew it was him. How could it not be? Her heart sped up. She was scared, but… Wait. No she wasn't. She wasn't scared. But how could that be? He was scary. He hurt her. But…he saved her. He loved her. Everything he did, he did so he could have her.**

** She could feel her body now. It was cold. Just like that night… The night the Shadowmen tried to kill her. Jenny now knew where her eyes were and how to open them. She just couldn't yet. She didn't have control of them. She could feel her eyelids twitching, trying to open but not succeeding.**

** She stopped, took a deep breath – how, she didn't know. Had she been breathing this entire time? She couldn't remember. – and opened her eyes.**

** There he was. Right in front of her. Alive. Moving. Crying.**

** "J-" she was cut off by him.**

** "Shhh. You're okay. Everything is fine." He smiled. "You don't know how bad I've wanted to see you."**

** Jenny felt the pricks in her eyes again. "I… How are you back? What happened?"**

** His face fell and became serious. "Let's not speak about that right now. How have you been, Jenny?" His long, slender fingers slid down her cheek. She closed her eyes and melted into his hand.**

** "I…" How had she been? She'd been different, she knew that. "I've been alright. But what about you? How is this even possible?"**

** "Jenny, please. Don't talk about that." He said again.**

** She scrunched her nose up. "Well, then what do we talk about?"**

** He smiled. He leaned over and barely kissed her lips. Jenny's stomach filled with butterflies. Jenny wanted to wrap her arms around him, but she was still too weak. When he pulled back his eyes were still closed. "Whatever you want to."**

** "But you just said we couldn't talk about-" She never got to finish her sentence. Suddenly, there was something in his chest, and his blood was pooling all over Jenny. Everything started to go black.**

** "Jenny…" he said.**

** "Julian!" Jenny screamed. She flopped over and fell off her bed. She laid there for a minute to get her bearings. It was just a dream.**

** There were tears filling in her eyes, and some had already pooled over. "Why?" she asked the air. She cried a couple more minutes and then got back on her bed. She grabbed some tissues from her night stand and blew her nose. She could breathe clearly again. "Julian…"**

** It was the first time she'd said his name out loud since…since he…**

** She started to cry again. "I do. I really do." she said. "I love you, Julian." How could saying something like that feel so right? Jenny was nothing but a bunch of questions. She was so confused, and she didn't know what to do from there.**

** She wanted to go back to bed, but her head hurt and she knew if she went back to sleep now her eyes would be puffy in the morning. She got up and went to her computer. She needed to write. If she could write, she might be able to get this out of her system.**

** Jenny sat for hours and wrote. She asked questions and tried to answer them, but always found that her answers never quite added up. Every time she looked at the clock she knew she should get back in bed, but could never make herself get up. It wasn't until she saw the first few slivers of sunlight through her window that she knew it was time. She turned and stood up, but didn't move. Her bedroom was covered in shadows.**

** Jenny grabbed her cell phone. She needed to call Tom. She knew he wouldn't pick up at this time, but she had to try…**

** When she opened it, she saw that she had two new messages. She opened the first one. It was from Tom.**

_**I made it here safe. I just wanted to let you know.**_

** Jenny swelled with happiness. She could feel Tom's arms around her. She imagined his soft lips colliding with hers and making sparks. He was amazing. And he was all hers.**

** She opened the second one. It was also from Tom.**

_**I love you.**_

** She sent back a message that said, "I love you, too." Somehow, it felt empty. She knew she loved Tom. She knew that she had never loved someone like she loved Tom before…**

** But maybe she loved someone more, after she met him.**

** "Because I love him, too." she said. "And I can't do anything about it."**

** As she sat back down on her bed, she felt like she had to cry. She fought it, but knew that if she didn't she wouldn't feel any better. She was about to give up and just let the tears come when something happened.**

** Jenny's hair flew every direction. Papers on her desk scattered everywhere. The chair she kept at her computer slid across the floor. She looked at her window, thinking maybe she'd opened it and forgot. It was closed and locked. How could this be happening?**

** A crazy idea filled her mind. And it was really crazy. If she did it, she would feel silly. But if she didn't do it…she would regret it, and she knew she would.**

** One deep breath later, Jenny whispered, "Julian?"**

** Somehow she wasn't surprised when the wind picked up again.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks to 1poisonivy and Princess Mariana for being the first reviewers! I hope you like this chapter. I've been wanting to write a fanfic for The Forbidden Game since I read it, but my computer has been down and I haven't had the money to fix it. My mom bought me a new one though! Woo-hoo! Here is chapter 2 of The Forbidden Affair…_

**Jenny didn't go back to sleep. Instead, she took a shower, got dressed, and ran downstairs. She grabbed a granola bar and her IPod, which she'd left on the living room table. She wrote a small note to her parents, telling them where she'd be, and taped it to the front door.**

** A short drive later, she was at the school's track. Sometimes running would help Jenny to calm down. She didn't like to run, and when she did she would always wind up feeling like crap. That was what kept her mind clear. She just focused on the burn in her chest and the soreness in her legs. **

** If only her friends were there. Then she could…**

** But she couldn't. She couldn't go to any of them for help, even if they were available. What would she tell them? "Oh, I said that I loved Julian out loud and this weird breeze popped up out of nowhere." No, they would kill her.**

** Jenny couldn't run anymore. She felt like she was about to faint. She made her way over to the sand for the long jump. When she was younger, she would come with her mom here. Her mom used to run every Saturday morning, but when she met Amy that all stopped. Jenny used to go straight to the sand and try to make castles. She never could do it, though.**

** One day she asked her mom why she couldn't make sand castles and she told her it was because she didn't have any water. Jenny wound up going back and forth to the sprinklers, getting water for the sand. She would do that over and over, but she never seemed to get enough.**

** Jenny took a deep breath and put her head between her legs. She was debating on whether or not to call Tom when the breeze picked up. She looked left, then right, and then all around.**

** "This is silly!" she yelled to herself. "Why are you looking all around? Just because there is a breeze, it doesn't mean that there is something weird going on. It just means the wind is blowing!"**

** "I wouldn't count on it."**

** Jenny spun around. There was a guy walking up to her. He was a couple of inches taller than her – about five foot ten, maybe eleven. He was wearing jeans and a Christian t-shirt with red and white sneakers. His hair was short and blonde, and he had the greenest eyes she'd ever seen. Even more green than her own.**

** "I'm sorry." he said. "I didn't mean to scare you. I saw you running out here. You know no one is supposed to be out here, right?"**

** Jenny narrowed her eyes. "What did you mean when you said you wouldn't count on it?"**

** "Oh, just that things never look like what they appear." He walked closer to her. "But you already know that, don't you?"**

** "Excuse me?" Jenny didn't know what to think about this guy.**

** He shrugged. "I don't know. You just seem like the kind of girl that knows not to judge a book by its cover. But, really, you can't be out here."**

** "It's the school's track. It's open to anyone who wants to use it. I should know, I go to this school." she replied.**

** He chuckled and looked away for a minute. "I'm sorry. I really didn't mean to seem so rude. My name is Luke. I'm working with the school this summer to do some repairs. You know, community service?"**

** Jenny took a step back. "Community service?"**

** "For college. Looks good on a resume." he replied. "Oh, you thought I was some troublemaker, huh?"**

** "Sorry. Why am I not supposed to be here?" she asked.**

** "They're supposed to redo the track. The truck hasn't arrived with the supplies yet." he explained.**

** "Oh…" Jenny said. She felt her cheeks flush. Any time she got the least bit embarrassed her cheeks would turn the shade of a cherry. "I guess I'll just go then."**

** "Hey, Luke!" someone called. Jenny saw another guy, about the same age as her and Luke, maybe a little older, who had dark hair. She couldn't tell from the distance – he was on the other side of the football field – but she thought he was rather tall.**

** Luke turned and waved. "That's another one of the guys who is working. His name is Brett. Can you wait here for just a second?" he asked her when he turned back her way.**

** "Sure, I guess." Jenny replied. She actually didn't want to wait any longer here. She was tired of being around other people and felt like she needed more alone time. It was weird. Jenny never liked being alone, but lately she could barely stand herself let alone anyone else.**

** As Luke walked across the football field, Jenny took the chance to look him over. He had a nice walk. He didn't slouch, or go too slow. He went the perfect pace and kept his shoulders squared. She could see the muscles in his arms move as he walked. She thought that if he were to be wearing shorts she would see the muscles in his legs, too. Luke wasn't bad looking at all, and the more Jenny stared at him, the more she found herself liking him.**

_**What are you doing? **_**she thought to herself. **_**You have a boyfriend, and you already like someone other than him. You can't afford to even like anyone else.**_

** Luke got a few feet away from Brett and then pointed behind him towards Jenny. She saw Brett look her way. He looked irritated when he looked back at Luke, but he walked away back towards the school. Luke turned and jogged back over to her.**

** "Hey. I actually have to get back to work. They're having us work on fixing the cabinets in one of the rooms while we're waiting on the truck." he explained.**

** "Oh, okay." Jenny replied. "Then, good luck, I guess." She turned to walk away but Luke grabbed her arm. She pulled away, quickly.**

** "Sorry. I just wanted to tell you that you can probably start running again in about two weeks. We should be done by then. If not, you can give me your number and I'll call you when we're done." he told her.**

** Jenny knew she was about to blush again. "Did you just ask me for my number?"**

** Luke looked at the ground and laughed. "Yeah, I guess I am."**

** Jenny turned back toward the parking lot. "Thanks, but maybe some other time." She winked, and walked away.**

** "It was nice meeting you, anyway!" Luke called to her.**

** "You, too." Jenny replied. She didn't want to be rude, but she had to get out of there as soon as possible. Why did she wink at him? It was a weird impulse that she usually fought.**

** She noticed that Luke watched as she pulled away. There was no way she was ever going to give him her number. Yes, he was cute. And yes, he obviously liked her. But… She didn't know if she was holding back because of Tom or because of…**_**him**_**.**

** Jenny thought about going to the store and getting some ice cream. She'd never had love-life issues before, but she heard that ice cream helps make you feel better.**

** After she bought her ice cream – mint chocolate chip, her favorite – she headed back to her house. Her mom was outside, watering the garden Jenny had planted a couple of weeks ago.**

** "Hey, mom. I got some ice cream. You want some?" she asked.**

** Her mom held up her index finger while she went to turn off the water hose. "Honey," she started when she walked back over, "I think we need to have a talk."**

** "Okay?" Jenny asked. "Just let me go put this up before it melts." Her mother nodded and Jenny took off. As she put the ice cream in the freezer she wondered what all this was about. Her mom had never had to "have a talk with her" before.**

** Her mom was sitting on a bench that sat next to Jenny's garden. Her dad bought it and put it up right after Jenny got done planting everything. Jenny took her time walking to her mom so she could try and figure out what this was about and whether it was good or bad. She took a seat and looked at her mother expectantly.**

** They were silent for a moment and then her mom said, "A boy came looking for you this morning."**

** "A boy?" she asked. She first thought of Tom, but he wasn't in town. Her next thought was…but, no, he was – well, gone. "Who?"**

** "He didn't tell me his name." Her mom picked up a water bottle on the ground next to her and took a sip of it. "He knocked on the door but I wasn't able to answer it right away. When I did get to it, he was walking down the driveway. He turned around and asked me if I would tell you that he stopped by." she explained.**

** Jenny wondered if Luke stopped by in the time it took her to get the ice cream. It would've taken her twelve minutes – five to get to the store, another five to go in, get the ice cream, wait in line, and pay for it, and then two more to get back to her house – to get back to her house after being at the track. It would've taken Luke about six – the drive to her house was three minutes and then maybe three more minutes of knocking on the door. But how would he know where she lived? Oh, well. She had to try asking.**

** "Did he have blonde hair?" Jenny asked.**

** "Yes. I assumed you knew him." Her mom looked down. "I also assumed you knew he was coming over and forgot, but now I'm not so sure. How do you know him?"**

** Jenny wondered why her mom looked so upset. "Oh, I-" She stopped and thought. "Wait, mom, what else did he look like?"**

** Her mom squinted like she was trying to focus on something. "Kind of tall. Cute. He looked a little older than you."**

** That all described Luke, but someone else, too. "How, um…how long was his hair?" Jenny asked.**

** Her mom made a face. "Too long for a boy." Her mom believed that all boys should have short hair. It was kind of weird.**

** Jenny felt as if she was going to have a heart attack. "And his…eyes?" She hesitated. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know the answer to this question. She still hadn't found out why her heart was beating so fast.**

** "I don't remember. He was halfway down the driveway when I opened the door. I'm pretty sure they were light, though. They definitely weren't dark. I would've been able to tell." she replied.**

** Jenny was frozen. She wanted to ask her mom which way he went, but she knew that was silly. He could go anywhere he wanted without walking. Suddenly, she wanted to run up to her room and see if he was waiting there for her.**

** "Sweetheart, what happened with you and Tom?" her mom asked. She had always been obsessed with the thought of Jenny and Tom together. Jenny's mom and Tom's mom had been friends since high school. When Jenny's mom found out she was dating Tom, she was ecstatic. Tom was going to be successful and everyone knew it. Jenny's mom knew that as long as they were together Jenny would be supported and taken care of. It may have been one of the reasons Jenny clung so much to Tom.**

** Jenny gave her a blank stare. What was she talking about? "Nothing. Why would you ask that?"**

** Her mother pursed her lips like she always did when she was nervous. "I guess it's just that… You've never had boys come ask for you other than Tom. And I know that when I was younger, I never went anywhere with a boy other than your father. I know all of your friends, and it wasn't Michael. I would definitely know Zach, if it was him. I guess I was just worried that you and Tom had…broken up. And if not…then I didn't know what to think."**

** Jenny didn't want to disappoint her mother. She knew that if she were to ever leave Tom that it would break her mother's heart. But Jenny also knew that if she was ever going to be happy she had to listen to her own heart, even if it meant breaking her mom's. But then Jenny focused on where the conversation was going. She didn't know what to think? What was that supposed to mean?**

** "Wait." Jenny said. "You thought that I was cheating on Tom?" She didn't know what to think. How could her mother – of all people – think that she would do something so **_**low**_**?**

** Her mom gave her an apologetic smile. Jenny knew that her mom didn't mean any harm. She was just confused. She didn't know what to think about the situation because Jenny had never had another boy over. What her mom didn't understand was that Jenny was old enough to hang out with boys other than Tom and it not mean anything. Jenny also knew that her mom didn't like the fact that Jenny had admirers. No one was good enough for Jenny but Tom. End of story.**

** Jenny tried to stifle a giggle, but she couldn't. Not completely, anyway. "Mom, I am **_**not **_**cheating on Tom. I love him." **_**I also love someone else, but that is beside the point. **_**"And this boy you're talking about? I'm not even sure if I **_**do **_**know him." She was pretty sure that she **_**did **_**know him, but she needed to comfort her mom.**

** Mrs. Thornton smiled. "Well, good. I'm glad you're…faithful. But why would this boy come her asking for you if you don't know him?"**

** Jenny didn't know what to say. She could lie, but she wasn't very good at it. She could tell some of the truth, though, and maybe get away with it. "Maybe he just likes me. Maybe I do know him and I'm just not remembering right now." Jenny shrugged. "All I know is that I'm not going to think about it too much. If he really wants to talk to me, he'll show up again or call."**

** Her mom seemed to struggle with her answer for a minute, then shrugged and looked pleased with it. "Okay." she said and patted Jenny's leg. "I have to go now. I'm meeting Amy for yoga, and I'm already late. Your dad is at work and Joey is over at the Stensons'. Call my cell if you need me."**

** Jenny smiled as her mom opened the door to the van. "Okay, mom. Bye. I love you." Her mom blew her a kiss in response. Jenny watched her mom back out of the driveway and into the road. She waved one more time before her mom sped off. She counted three beats and then ran into the house.**

** The stairs were directly in front of the door. Jenny ran straight ahead, up the stairs, and turned completely around to the hallway behind her. She stopped, caught her breath, and walked to the door at the end – her room.**

** She took another deep breath and counted to three. She slowly opened the door. It creaked as it opened and Jenny made a mental not to fix that. One foot was inside the door. She took a step. Two steps. Three.**

** Jenny was right underneath the ceiling fan now. She didn't even look as she reached up and pulled the chain. The light came on and she could see everything clear as day now. Every single inch of it…**

** …and she was the only one there.**

** She was disappointed. She didn't know why; she **_**should **_**be happy! And yet all she wanted to do was grab her ice cream, hop in bed, and watch Lifetime movies for the rest of the day. Hopefully, no one would disturb her.**

** Jenny stood as still as she could, trying to keep the hurt away. Why did she feel like this? Was it because she was alone, and she wanted anyone to come and keep her company? No, she knew that wasn't it. It was because she loved him. She loved him, but she loved Tom, too. It wasn't fair. Julian had this…this aura about him. Jenny was naturally compelled to Julian. It was like he was her other half. The bad half, yes, but her other half none the less. But Tom… Tom had been there since second grade. They'd slowly developed feelings for each other. It was how relationships were supposed to go. Were you supposed to ignore love at first sight if it happened to you? Or were you supposed to take advantage of it?**

** She gave up that train of thought and decided to go back downstairs and get her ice cream. Lifetime movies, here she came. With her head hung low, she turned – and ran straight into someone. Arms automatically wrapped around her. She knew these arms. She knew the feeling of being in them, and wanted to stay like this forever. She buried her face in his chest.**

** "Jenny…" he whispered, just like in her dream. For a moment she was scared it was a dream again, but she knew otherwise. She knew because this time he also said, "I love you."**

** Tears rolled down her face. She clutched at him as if he were going to disappear again.**

** "Julian." When she spoke his name it made everything feel alright. He was here! With her! She looked up at him for the first time in what seemed like ages. His hair was still so blonde it was almost white, and his eyes were just as blue as the last time she'd seen them, if not bluer. But there was something else in his eyes that Jenny had never seen before: happiness. True happiness.**

** "But how?" she whispered.**

** Julian closed his eyes and clutched her close to him. "I hope it lasts this time. You got everything right." She looked up at him, and his eyes opened in response to her movement. She knew he saw the confusion on her face because he said, "You dreamed me into a spectacular place. I know you did it, Jenny. No one else could have. You dreamed me into a place where I can be with you, no matter what!"**

** Jenny pulled away. "What do you mean?"**

** He took her hand again and said, "I guess you dreamt me into a world where you love me back, unconditionally. Why are you acting so different this time? You've never asked questions or pulled away. You always just…loved me."**

** "Julian," Jenny reached up and touched his face, "this isn't a dream, if that's what you're thinking. This is real."**

** He pulled her arm up above her and twirled her in a little circle. She giggled. She didn't know what she was doing, but she was enjoying it. Some small voice in the back of her head told her to snap out of it, but she wasn't paying attention. This was what she wanted.**

** "That isn't possible. Well, it is, but it's highly unlikely. Yes, it was strange that your mom wouldn't let me in this morning, but…"**

** Julian dropped her hand. He stepped away from her altogether. He stopped and looked at her like he was seeing her for the first time. "Your eyes… You got them right this time." His eyes were filling with tears now. "Jenny? Is it you? Really?"**

** She smiled at him. "Yes, Julian. Who else would it be?"**

** Before she could say another word, he'd snatched her up and laid her on the bed. He started to kiss her. They kissed for what seemed like hours.**

** "I love you." he whispered when they finally broke apart.**

** Usually when Julian said this, Jenny didn't believe it. Usually when he said it, she didn't feel the same way. But things weren't all that usual lately, and Jenny found herself whispering, "Oh, Julian. I love you, too."**

** They climbed under the covers, and Julian explained everything.**


	3. Chapter 3

"**So, that's what you've been doing all this time? It sounds…awful." Jenny said.**

** Julian had explained everything to her. Every single little detail of what had been going on while he was gone. Apparently, without even knowing it, Jenny had dreamt Julian into a place where they were together all the time. But there were glitches.**

** Jenny would always get her eyes wrong. They were never the right color green. Another glitch was that she would always wind up going away somehow. He told her that there had even been times when she would die in his arms. Those times were the worst. He would wander around until she showed up yet again.**

** It was an almost perfect world. And it was perfect whenever they were together. Sometimes, Julian would be walking on the road one second and the next he was in her bedroom, with her wrapped around him.**

** As for how he was back, he said that there had been one other time when a Shadowman had come back without getting his name written back in the stave. There had been a rumor that it was because of love, but Julian hadn't believed it back then. Julian hadn't believed in love ever since he was created. It wasn't until he laid eyes on Jenny that he knew it existed.**

** Julian had made her tell him everything that had happened to her since he, well, died. She filled him in on all the stuff going on with her friends, and where they had gone. She told him about last night, and how she woke up sobbing like a baby. She told him about the pain she felt, knowing he would never be there again. By the time she was finished, she was starting to cry.**

** "Oh, dear, sweet Jenny." he said, sweeping her in his arms. "As long as you want me, I will be here. At least…I hope so…"**

** Jenny looked up at him in surprise. "What do you mean, 'I hope so'?"**

** Julian got up and went to her dresser. He picked things up one by one and studied them. After a minute or two of this, he sighed and said, "Jenny, when the rumors were going around about the Shadowman who had come back because of love, they said that he'd become a human afterwards. I didn't believe it. How could someone of my race become something so wonderful as a human?**

** "I'd wanted to be human, just like every other Shadowman, but I knew that I would never be one, and I gave up. Easy as that. But then…then you come along. I would have given anything to be with you. You really don't understand my devotion to you. You are so…wonderful and light. It's amazing.**

** "I know I'm not a Shadowman anymore. I can feel it. There's no darkness or power flowing through me. I feel…empty now. But I also feel…light. Now that the dark is gone, it's been filled with light. A light that you lit for me. I don't know exactly how this happened, but I do have a theory…**

** "A Shadowman is nothing but darkness. They do not feel mercy, or love. They do not care about anyone else but themselves, even other Shadowmen. They don't know how to love. They don't know what the light feels like. Jenny, when you came into my life – or rather, when I came into yours – something happened to me that was irrevocable.**

** "I learned to love. I learned what the light felt like. But there was a problem. I was a Shadowman. I was filled with darkness that wouldn't leave me. I remember knowing that what I was doing with those…games - if you can even call them that – but being powerless to stop it. It's what the darkness inside of me wanted.**

** "Jenny, you saw me. The real me. You saw when your light touched me and made me…human. I knew, every time I was around you that playing those games was not the way to win you. When I was around you, I wanted to woo you. To make you see me in the same way I saw you. I would have done anything to have you, Jenny.**

** "When my name was taken off the stave, the darkness inside of me was taken away. My soul was my own. I could be light and carefree. But most of all, I could love without being a…well, dick." He chuckled. "I think that when the darkness was taken out of me, I was my own. I could be anywhere I wanted. Do anything I wanted.**

** "But when you said that you loved me, the universe listened. When you shed those tears for me – even when you thought I was a hopeless cause – you gave me something to live for."**

** Julian stopped his pacing he'd started. He came over to Jenny and took her hands in his. "I was filled with light, and somehow, I came back. I came back for **_**you**_**, Jenny. Now we can be together. I would do anything for you. I love you so much, and now that I'm human, I know how to take care of you. I can feel it."**

** Jenny didn't know what to do. She loved Julian, yes. But…she did still love Tom. And how was she supposed to explain to her mom who Julian was? Where was he going to live? How was he going to take care of himself?**

** She stopped thinking of everything and asked herself one question: did she want to be with Julian.**

_**Yes! Yes! Yes! **_**her mind screamed.**

** "What's wrong?" Julian asked, breaking her out of her thoughts.**

** She didn't know how to answer at first, but then decided that honesty would be best. "I don't know what to think about all of this. I love you, Julian, I really do, but…you seem so **_**sure **_**that I'm the one for you. You're so committed to something that has just begun. People aren't normally like that."**

** "And are we normal, Jenny? Do people really **_**want **_**normal? I don't think so. Why does your race – well, ours now – make so many love stories? Better yet, why are there so many **_**outrageous **_**love stories? Because that is what everyone wants. We all want someone to love us unconditionally, forever. And that is what I'm promising you, Jenny.**

** "For as long as I live, until my dying breath, I will love you. I will never stop. You are everything to me, and without you I would be nothing." He then said something under his breath.**

** "What was that?" Jenny asked. She couldn't quite make out what he said. It started with an "L" though.**

** Julian just smiled at her and said, "What was what?"**

** Jenny couldn't help but smile back at him. For once, she felt happy that she was flirting with Julian. There was something here that she didn't have with Tom. But that didn't mean that she just forgot about him. Every time she thought about him now, she felt like crap. She'd just told her mom not an hour and a half ago that she **_**wasn't **_**cheating on Tom, and here she was with Julian, cheating on Tom. She ignored her little pangs of guilt.**

** She traced her finger up his arm as she said, "What was it you said under your breath?"**

** Julian had closed his eyes as soon as she touched him. She saw a shiver pass through him. Did she really have that much of an effect on him? "Literally." Julian whispered.**

** Jenny had been paying attention more to his reaction than his answer. When she finally did pay attention, she stopped everything she was doing, even breathing. Julian noticed the moment she realized what he'd said and opened his eyes.**

** Jenny could just see how she might have looked to him: her mouth open in an O shape; her eyes filling up with tears; her face turning red. She could feel her heart beating faster and faster. It didn't seem like it would ever slow down.**

** "Oh, Jenny." Julian said, and brought her to his chest.**

** How could this be? If she were to break up with him, or fall out of love with him, he would just…disappear? Or would he die? How was that possible? She couldn't be the cause for his destruction. She wouldn't be able to live with herself.**

** But… Tom.**

** She couldn't just forget about him. She'd loved him for so long, and she still loved him. But if she were to choose him, Julian would…**

** The tears spilled over and leaked into Julian's shirt. Jenny hadn't realized until now, but he was wearing something very different from his usual attire. He wore a plain white t-shirt and some baggy blue jeans. Somehow, it suited him. If someone were to see them together right now they would wonder what he saw in her.**

** Her hair was a mess, all knotted from running and then lying in bed with Julian. Her eyes were puffy from crying, and her face was even redder than it usually got when she was upset. Her nose was running. She was still sticky from sweating when she ran, and her clothes were wrinkled and dirty.**

** And yet, he still loved her. He hadn't said a word about how she looked. Tom wouldn't have either, but Jenny knew that he happened to like her better when she wore long skirts and looked her best. Julian didn't seem like he cared what she wore, or how she looked.**

** She started to cry even harder.**

** "Oh, my sweet. Don't worry. As long as you love me, I will still be here. Jenny, I don't…" He stopped when an involuntary shudder went through her. "I don't want you to feel as if I'm making you choose."**

** Of course, Jenny started to wail when he said that. It made her feel even worse. She didn't know why she felt like this. It was so engrained in her. She had it all planned out. She and Tom were supposed to graduate, and although she'd finally decided that she would go to the college she wanted to go to instead of the one Tom wanted to go to, she knew they would be near each other or visit whenever they could. They would graduate college and start their careers. Once that was taken care of, they would get married and have babies. They would have a life together.**

** But now she saw another alternative. She and Julian **_**would **_**go to the same college together, because she knew that they wouldn't be able to stand being apart from each other. He would follow her anywhere she went. They would have so much fun in college together, and then graduate. Julian would learn to live in this world with her, and they would just go from there. No planning.**

** She'd stopped crying, and was now just staring at a flower printed on her blanket. Julian had been rocking her but she hadn't noticed until then. Her arms, which were covering her chest, went up around his neck of their own accord. He laid a hand on the back of her head and she rested her cheek on his shoulder. She wanted to kiss him, but she knew she was covered in tears and snot.**

** They stayed like that for a long time. Jenny didn't even know how long. She was very tired now, from all the crying. Julian must have known, because he set her down on her pillows. Her eyes were now only half open.**

** "My sweet, sweet Jenny." he said. He pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed and tucked her in. "Get some sleep. You need it."**

** "But-"**

** "Shhh. I'll still be here when you wake up." He kissed her forehead.**

** She could feel sleep coming to claim her. She didn't want to go to sleep, but she was falling fast. **

** "I love you, Jenny." she heard him say, right before everything went black.**

** "Jenny, how did this happen?" Dee asked. Her beautiful dark eyes were wide with shock.**

** All of her friends were gathered around her. They were at their favorite playground in town. A small building held the restrooms and water fountains. They had all gathered in there. There was Audrey, wearing a pink and black business suit that she would never use for business. Michael was standing next to her, staring at his blue sneakers like he didn't know what to do. Zach was looking at Tom as if he was a bomb. Of course, Dee was the one to take action, so she was bouncing on one foot, then the other. Jenny was scared to look at Tom. She was afraid of what she would see there.**

** "It's…complicated." Jenny replied. She was trying to explain this as best as possible, but first she needed them all to calm down and listen to her. She had Julian in her car outside, but none of them knew that. She was planning on getting him and bringing him in if they listened to her. Secretly, she knew she wouldn't be able to bring him in without all her friends trying to hurt him. She knew they wouldn't listen to her, and she was scared of losing them all.**

** "I'd say." Michael said to his shoes. Audrey pulled her hand out of his and stepped forward.**

** "Jenny…" She stopped and looked around the room. "This is…extremely hard to believe. How could you even think about-" She didn't finish. She didn't have to. Jenny knew exactly what she was going to say.**

** Suddenly, her temper flared. How could they be like this to her? They were supposed to be her friends! She knew it was going to be hard to explain, but they weren't even giving her a chance. She understood that they all thought he'd almost killed them at one point, but if they would just let her talk they would understand that he hadn't tried to kill them and that he wasn't a bad guy.**

** "Look, guys. I just need you to-"**

** "Jenny." That was Tom. She finally looked at him. He was tearing up, and Jenny could tell that he was trying very hard to keep himself under control. "Don't listen to a word he tells you. He's manipulating you!"**

** "You haven't even given him a chance!" she yelled back.**

** Tom didn't miss a beat. "Yeah, because he's trying to steal my girlfriend!" Tom turned around and walked towards the door, but didn't go out.**

** Jenny didn't know what to say. That was the worst part about this conversation. Everyone was going to hate her not only because they thought she was dating their archenemy, but also because she was breaking Tom's heart to do so.**

** "I'm not trying to hurt any of you…" Jenny pleaded.**

** "Yeah, well you are." Tom said, turning around to face her. The tears in his eyes were gone, and now his ears were red. They got that way when he was mad. "You know what? I can finish this."**

** He turned around and went out the door. Jenny hurried after him. She could hear her friends' footsteps behind her. When she got outside, she saw that Tom was going straight for her car.**

** "No, Tom!" Jenny yelled.**

** Tom reached her car, and yanked the door open. He pulled Julian out. Suddenly they both had knives and were going around in circles.**

** "Both of you, stop!" Jenny pleaded.**

** But it was too late. As soon as she said something they both turned to look at her. She guessed they both thought they would take that opportunity to get the other one. They both jabbed at each other…**

** …and stabbed each other in the heart.**

** Jenny sat straight up in bed. She woke up covered in sweat for the second time in a row. She felt disoriented and groggy. After she'd yawned and stretched, she looked at her clock. It was just before five in the afternoon.**

** She got up and went to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, and combed her hair. She changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before going downstairs.**

** She went into the kitchen. She was starving. There was a note taped to the refrigerator.**

_**Jenny:**_

_**Went out to eat. Will be back before six.**_

_**We'll bring you something back.**_

_**Love, Mom and Dad**_

** It was just like her parents to let her sleep instead of getting her up to eat. She knew that when Dee was asleep Aba always woke her up to eat. But whatever. She would grab something small to snack on before they got back.**

** Jenny couldn't find any leftovers in the fridge that she wanted so she opened the freezer. There, sitting in front of everything, was her mint chocolate chip ice cream.**

** That was when everything came flooding back.**

** "Julian!" she screamed. She ran through the house, searching everywhere. Where could he be? He said he was going to be there when she woke up. Why wasn't he?**

** After she had checked every room, she sat down on the couch in the living room and ran her fingers through her hair. She wanted to cry, but she was so tired of crying. Instead, she took slow, deep breaths.**

** What if she dreamt all of that? What if she had gone to the store, got her ice cream, talked to her mom, came upstairs, and went to bed when she didn't find Julian there? It might have been Luke who had come to see her. She didn't know how he knew where she lived, but that was the only reasonable explanation.**

** A long moment passed before it all sunk in.**

** Had she really dreamt it all? She couldn't have. It felt so real. But she'd had other dreams that felt real and weren't. So, why did this feel different.**

** She sat there for another minute before she figured it out: she'd wanted it to be real. She so desperately wanted Julian to be back that her mind had convinced her he had so she would be happy. And now that she knew it was all a lie, she was even more depressed than ever.**

** For some strange reason, she wanted her stuffed teddy bear. Her mom had given him to her when she was eight, after she got bucked off a horse. The teddy bear had a cowboy hat and a lasso. Her mother had called her a "natural cowgirl". Jenny hadn't seen how she was supposed to be a cowgirl if the horse bucked her off.**

** Ever since then when she felt so upset she couldn't take it, she would get him and cuddle with him. She had never named him – she never saw the point – but every now and then she would call him TB, for teddy bear. Tom and her family were the only ones who knew about her secret name for him, and they all made fun of his name…**

** Since there wasn't anyone around, she figured she'd go get him and love him for a while. It would make her feel like a little kid, but she just didn't have it in her to care at the moment.**

** Jenny put her hands on her knees to brace herself when she stood up. Just as she got to her feet there was a knock at the door.**

** "Oh, who is it?" she whispered to herself. She really didn't feel like having company.**

** When she opened the door, she didn't know what to do. There he stood, in the same clothes as before, with a sheepish smile on his face. Jenny had half a mind to shut the door in his face, but after a moment she just ran into his arms.**

** After a minute she pulled away and punched him in the arm.**

** "Hey! What was that for?" Julian asked.**

** Jenny didn't answer. Instead, she stepped back from the door and made a motion for him to come in. He stared at her for a second, shook his head, and made his way inside. Jenny started walking up the stairs and didn't even look back to see if he was following her.**

** When she got in her room, she turned around. Julian came in and she shut the door.**

** "Where were you?" she practically yelled. "You said that you were going to be here when I woke up, and when I did wake up, you weren't here!"**

** Julian grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. "Jenny, calm down. I'm sorry. Your parents came home and I didn't think it would be appropriate for me to be in your bedroom while you were sleeping. Especially because your parents don't know who I am."**

** "I thought it was all a dream…" she said in a small voice.**

** He pulled her chin up so that she was looking at him and gave her a small kiss. "Jenny, you are not dreaming. You weren't earlier, either, if that isn't obvious." He chuckled. "I am right here. I'm not going anywhere. I may have to leave every now and then, but I'm not going to abandon you."**

** "Good. I need you." she replied. She knew that she meant it. Something had changed in her when she thought he was still dead.**

** Julian gave her a small smile. He picked her up, put her on the bed, and sat down next to her. "So…does that mean…?"**

** Jenny sighed. "It means…that I choose you."**

** Julian's face broke into the biggest smile she'd ever seen on him. "You don't know how you make me feel."**

** "I think I just might…" Jenny gave him a flirty smile.**

** Julian pulled her in for a long kiss. When they finally had to pull apart for a breath, Julian asked, "So, when do we make this official?"**

** She knew what he meant by that. When was she going to break the news to Tom. Well, she didn't want to do it over the phone, and she certainly didn't want to wait until he came back. That would be too long. Plus, Jenny didn't know how long she could lie to Tom. She still loved him…but she'd finally realized that she didn't love him the way she loved Julian.**

** "Well, I was thinking I could talk my parents into letting me take a little vacation to see Tom. I know my mom wouldn't mind…" She trailed off when she saw Julian's face fall. "What's wrong?"**

** "Do you think your parents will like me?" he asked.**

** "Is that what you're worried about?" she asked him. "My soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend is probably going to try to kill you when he sees you and you're worried about my parents liking you."**

** He gave her a shy smile. "They will most definitely like you." she assured him.**

** Jenny lost track of the next half hour. They spent it kissing, hugging, and just celebrating one another. Jenny couldn't remember the last time she'd been this happy.**

** Julian suddenly parted from her and whispered, "What happens now?"**

** Jenny didn't even have to think about her answer. "We fix everything. Once I explain things to…everyone, we can be together."**

** "Finally." Julian whispered, and pulled her in for another make out session.**


End file.
